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  • The hardest part of adulting

    There are a lot of hard things about adulting. You have to do your own laundry for one, you can no longer drop those jeans on the floor only for them to magically appear in the wardrobe a few days later, clean and ironed. The basics are always in the cupboard/fridge/freezer, so you can always grab a snack. The kitchen bin is gone when it is full. Counters are cleared every night by some sort of cleaning fairy.

    The hardest thing by far though is dinner. Specifically thinking about what you are going to have for dinner. This is multiplied by thousands if you have a family because you get to decide for everyone. this is not as simple as cooking one meal and they all eat it. Oh no, you have to base your decision around the fact that the husband doesn’t like fried food, your son won’t eat anything green, not even a hint of parsley, and your daughter basically only eats beige food. This usually results in different meals for people where you eat one of those meals, sacrificing what you would really love to have. Once you have decided you then have to shop for, prep and cook and often do the cleaning up.

    Choosing the meal is endless. It has to be done Every, Single. Day for the rest of your adult life.

    it is fucking shite.

  • Blockage

    Writers block is real. Sitting staring at a blank screen for hours, intermittently staring out of the window watching the World pass without me in it. Trying to put down thoughts in an organised way isn’t easy.

    But, more difficult is editing. I self–publish and I enjoy the writing part when I am not blocked. The editing is beyond tedious. The first pass isn’t too bad, but by the tenth you don’t find the funny bits funny nor the sad bits sad and all of the drama is no longer dramatic.

    Why did I choose to bloody write?

    For anyone interested in reading badly written, sweary (very sweary) books about my life then there are two out on kindle and another coming as soon as I can get my arse into gear and finish editing it.

    check out:

    FOOD by Tracey Devlin

    The Fat Girl’s guide to trekking by Tracey Devlin

  • My favourite books

    I keep a running list of those books that I enjoyed for numerous reasons. Different genres but books I would like my daughter to read too.

    There are many but these are a few

    City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert. Loved this book for pulling me into a time gone by, into the lives therein. It was colourful and full of love and laughter, sadness. I laughed and I cried and I cheered. Great read

    City of Thieves by David Benioff A wonderful book. So well written. About two Russian soldiers tasked with a seemingly impossible task to retrieve eggs. Sounds odd. It is a story of friendship and struggles and love. An absolute must read

    All the broken places by John Boyne I love almost anything by Boyne but this sequel to The Boy in The Striped Pyjamas is incredible. A story of how people move forward, of redemption, of loss and of love. I adored this book

    Love in the time of cholera by Gabriel Marquez probably one of my favourite books of all time. I confess I read this only because it is central to the theme in one of my favourite films ‘Serendipity’ and it intrigued me. It is a wonderful love story, set against an horrific backdrop of disease. Beautifully written, poignant, sad, lots of tears but so uplifting too.

    Finally One day everyone will have always been against this by Omar El Akkad this book makes you look at how little you do as an individual to write wrongs. It shows that even small rebellions add up to a movement that can affect change. In a world where we watch Genocide play out every night live on our televisions and we shake our heads and say ‘this is appalling’ but then get on with eating our dinner or going out with friends, it holds a mirror up and asks why we do nothing. Why we accept these things, why we have become so desensitised to such horrific images of dead babies. This book should be read by everyone.

  • A pile of steaming shit

    Today:

    I look like shit, no make–up on, hair an untidy mess, wearing clothes to clean the shit that is my office

    The weather is shit – I live in Lanzarote, home of winter sun, this year there is none. It is cold and it is wet and it is shit.

    My friend has cancer and is dying and that, my friends is really shit.

    Some days are bad days, they will be followed by good days so we just have to ride them out. Because when it rains it transforms something normally dry and dusty into a thing of beauty.

    This is the view I have this morning, and it is only like this because of that awful weather.

  • Style up those sweats

    Take one pair of sweatpants, a cute pair. I actually think if you are even a little bit arty and grab some fabric paint you could turn the cheapest supermarket pair into something amazing. Anyway, here are a few ways to wear them that do not involve sweating at the gym. These are Aelfric Eden and I love them. I actually bought them because I saw a woman in Costa in Brighton wearing them, complimented her and asked where she had got them

    Cute right?

    For the gym just basic bitch bra top (I do not go to the gym like this, I am not that brave. I have a baggy arsed tee over paint splattered leggings, but for the purposes of this blog this is how cute you could look at the gym

    Let’s change it up

    Add a colourful chunky trainer and a matching tank and you are ready to run errands

    Add the tank over the top and tuck the sweats into a cute boot for a slightly elevated look that’ll take you to a girlie lunch or a daytime date

    change the top for a long sleeved leopard (it is a neutral after all) and head off for drinks

    Change the shirt for a lacy blouse and the shoe for a metallic wedge and you’re good to go for an early dinner.

    Or go a bit more edgy and throw on a heeled boot with some flounce and a peep of leopard bra and head off for more drinks or clubbing. I shove a scrunchie round the bottom of the sweats and roll them up.

    Throw a bomber over the top and you will look super cool and ready to party.

    See, sweats don’t have to be boring or saved just for the gym.

  • More fashion T in January

    Never ‘save’ a look for an occasion, today and every day is the occasion. My occasion today was doing the grocery shopping, yeah boring as shit but has to be done, every single bloody week. Today I decided to do it dressed as a nineteen fifties housewife. So here I am cute in red

    Jumper is absolutely ancient

    Red and white check trousers are Zara but at least a year old

    Shoes also old Zara

  • The first T of 2026

    So, I started the year on the sofa. the dog is terrified of fireworks so the husband and I stay home on New Year’s Eve, eating the glut of cheese and pate that is still in the fridge and watching the telly. We saw in midnight then went to bed.

    It saddens me a little that I no longer stay out well into the wee hours and snog strangers at midnight, perhaps vomiting over them or my shoes, sometimes both. Always was a good time girl back in the day. It is also our wedding anniversary, the husband figured there would be a band and a party in the local pub on new years eve so it was a free reception. It was 21 years ago though so the romance has slightly diminished and we don’t bother celebrating now.

    Anyway back to the new year. I love a resolution. Love a bit of a ‘new year, new me’ vibe. Love it so much in fact that I do it twice a year, the first of January and the day after my birthday for my new year. So here are this years:

    1. Spend more time with the people that matter
    2. Spend less time with the people that don’t
    3. Get fit and strong
    4. Have some new experiences
    5. Challenge myself
    6. Be a bit more glam

    In order to meet the requirements to hit those goals I shall

    1. Evaluate existing friendships in relation to how much joy I get from those friendships and spend more time with the people that spark joy by making time. I shall visit family at least quarterly as I live in Spain and they do not.
    2. Look at the list mentioned above and relegate people to monthly, quarterly or even annually (some to never) meet–ups
    3. go back to the gym. find a class that I enjoy and go regularly. to that end I am going to the gym tomorrow – it is closed today. I have also messaged a local woman on Facebook and am starting a core class next week.
    4. I have two concerts booked for this year – Yungblud and BonJovi. Have plans to go to see Skabba – a mash–up of Abba and Ska, also plan to go to see Abba Voyage at some point.
    5. this is possibly the most difficult but I want to try a solo trip as the husband has no interest and I would like to see new places. Will probably begin in the uk as I speak the language and there are lots of cities I would like to see. I also really need to improve my Spanish to an acceptable level but I am shy and hate putting myself in a position to be judged.
    6. It is so easy to slip into staying in the dog walking skanky joggers for the day, especially when I am going nowhere. I have so many clothes though so I want to start wearing them. If I wait until I have an occasion I will never get through them so I am starting now. thus today I am in the Amy Winehouse/Fred Perry shirt that I love but have only worn once

    Happy new year

  • Make up for the over 60s

    Just kidding. Make–up is make–up. Age doesn’t come into it, well not into mine anyway. I am not talking about skincare here. that is a whole other ballgame, I mean that literally, your eyelids turn into the same skin on a wrinkled ball bag. No you definitely need something on the skin, but probably from your thirties. I left it too late and now my face is a saggy mess of lines that should come with tube stations marked along them. Even botox and fillers can’t save the damage

    .I try to ignore the face as a whole and concentrate on its constituent parts. I only look at the bit I am slapping the face paint onto and then hope for the best. So onto my make–up.

    I always favoured a lined eye and black mascara with a red lip. None of that ‘one or the other’ business for me. Someone told me a year or so ago that I should tone it down because of my age. To my shame I listened and I tried, I really did. For almost a year I wore only a light covering of brown mascara and the tiniest bit of cream blush with a neutral lippie. Then a couple of months ago I changed my hair. Not a lot. I just put a fringe back in and resisted more of the same shit advice that when you are old your hair should be short. FUCK OFF. Anyway, the fringe took ten years off. It made me take a good look at my face too. The minimal look is not for me.

    I have now changed back to the face I know and love, albeit with those tram lines and I don’t hate it. People comment and not negatively. I am no longer invisible, I wear the black eyeliner, sometimes a gorgeous navy blue with a big flick, and I sport the bold lip.

    Don’t let anyone tell you how you should look, especially not based on your age. I am embracing my younger me and dragging her from the depths in which she has been drowning for too long and I love her.

    Say hello to the newest version of me

    Eyeliner is ‘Made by Mitchell, all smudge no budge in black

    Mascara is Heimish, Curling black – this mascara does not move, not an inch, all day and all night.

    Lippie is KVD everlasting hyperlight in cobra lily

    Haircut by Steph Freeth at Halo Beauty in Puerto del Carmen, Lanzarote.

  • I am back

    Been away, no excuses just life got in the way but I am back bitches and I am bringing my A game. Posts to follow

  • Outfit of the week

    Has to be this one. Just because it is so wacky. I felt like going a bit mad at my dinner party and I never get a chance to wear this anywhere without being stared at, and not in a good way. I do love it even though it is a lot.